Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
