I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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