some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
