...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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