how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Randomize
