Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
