Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
