you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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