I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
