Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
