Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
