It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You had me at "let me see your balls"
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
