went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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