U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
