Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
