i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
