PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
