Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
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