Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
