i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Still dying that you shit outside
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
i am craving dick and cupcakes
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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