I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
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