i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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