I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
