You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
