You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
