some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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