so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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