How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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