If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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