i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
