I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
