It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Randomize
