My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
