eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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