i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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