I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
His nipple licking is glorious
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