I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
