hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
