He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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