I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
