he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
