Swine flu is the new snow day.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize