just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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