Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
