Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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