Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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