you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
