bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
