you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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