its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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