some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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