rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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